I recently adopted a cat from a shelter who does not seem to want to be picked up. She loves being petted on the head and scratched at the base of the tail but dislikes contact with the rest of her body. Even maneuvering my hands into position for picking her up will cause her to dodge out of the way. I don't want to be too aggressive in my attempts because she would probably not be above giving a warning bite if mishandled.

Any suggestions on how I can accustom her to being picked up?

  • Related: pets.stackexchange.com/q/2179/31 – Monica Cellio Aug 11 '14 at 0:23
  • I think u have to go with the action reward psychology . that's what I did with my cat. I taught her to sleep on my shoulders. If u pick him up then u give him a reward or a treat. After a while he will get used to it. – Hani Gotc Feb 24 '19 at 17:09

Some cats do not like being picked up and will not allow it ever. It may be that they had a bad experience early in their lives (someone picked them up and did not support them or did something bad to them), or it may be that they are just uncomfortable not having solid ground under their paws. So, first, accept that you may never be able to pick up your cat at will.

Also, keep in mind that if you just recently adopted her, she may not know you well enough to trust you yet, and she may naturally allow it once she trusts you more. In my experience, it generally takes 6-18 months for an adult cat to settle into a new home.

That said, sometimes you can ease into it.

First, find some kind of suitable reward that your cat loves. For some cats that's a specific treat, for other cats petting and affection will work. Sometimes, it's worthwhile to establish a clicker training program.

Once you have a good reward system established, then just take it slowly step by step and reward your cat at every step.

If putting your hands in position to pick her up spooks her, try putting one hand in position. If she allows that, then give her the reward. Switch hands until she's comfortable with either hand, then try both hands (again, rewarding her each time). Once she's comfortable with both hands, don't pick her up, just lift a small amount of weight off her paws and reward her for that. The goal is to take tiny, incremental steps that she's comfortable with and give her lots of praise and rewards.

Each training session should be short (10-15 minutes). This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Once you're able to pick her up, keep your hands soft and don't restrain her. If she wants to leave, let her. You don't want to wrestle with a cat to hold onto her, you want her to trust you enough to want to hang out with you. If she knows she can leave at any time, she will gradually learn to trust you more and not want to leave immediately.

|improve this answer|||||
  • Thanks, I will try this approach. My cat is very sweet and friendly, just shy, so I think she will come around in time. – augurar Aug 11 '14 at 7:25
  • 1
    Often a cat is frightened by being moved around while you carry them more than by just being picked up. A halfway "comfort zone" that might help is to pick them up, hold them for a moment or two, and put them right back down. Then when they are less fearful of that, move on to longer times and walking around. – Oldcat Aug 11 '14 at 21:32

I adopted a sweet 5yr old a couple of months ago and she will not let me pick her up. I know they picked her up in the shelter, so I believe this is related to being put in the carrier when I brought her home, plus being in a new environment. She adores being petted. I have tried the ‘one hand, both hands’ approach and can hold her off the ground for a few seconds. So I am optimistic that eventually she will ket me hold her and will snuggle on my lap/next to me.

|improve this answer|||||

Maybe just let her be? I have a 2 year cat that I've had since he was a kitten and he has never enjoyed being picked up. I pick him up on occasion for a quick hug and that's it. I let him come to me when he wants to snuggle. He enjoys rubs and pats, so I tend to just do that while he stays on the ground.

|improve this answer|||||

Our adopted cat, who has been with us for about 10 months now, becomes combative if we try to pick her up. Taking her to the vet is very difficult to make happen. Yet she jumps up on our bed and snuggles into us and even allows us to move her as needed. She does not sit on our laps unless it is on the bed at night. The vet gave us some medication that is intended to calm her down a bit but it supposedly takes several weeks to become noticeably effective. We cannot possibly put a pill down her throat so we have the liquid form which can be applied to her ear, twice each day. She got her first dose this morning and now is acting quite skittish and avoiding us. We may have to just allow her to be as she is, which is her preference, and we may become resigned to her aggression to our other cat - no blood so far! Both cats are from a local shelter and brought home at the same time. He is a few pounds larger but she is the instigator.

|improve this answer|||||

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.