183

As in human cases of abuse, if you genuinely want to repair the relationship, the first and most essential thing to accept is you may not be able to. Especially with a young kitten, it's entirely possible you've scarred her for life. Even if she can recover in general, she may never be able to respond to you without fear. The second most essential thing is ...


101

Honestly, it sounds as though you shouldn't have a cat right now. There is never any excuse to needlessly hurt an animal and, whilst your critical write-up of your own behaviour is a start, it certainly doesn't help the animal that has been abused. From the incidents that you've described, the cat could have sustained substantial injuries and needs to be ...


64

This is one way cats show affection or try to get your attention. Not all cats do this, however, but they might show this in other ways such as as kneading, gentle scratching and gifting etc. Cats also show affection to other animals by rubbing against them "When your cat puts its scent on you, it's saying something like, 'You and I belong together because ...


34

Wouldn't it be a better solution to protect the trees from the cat than to remove the cat from the family? First of all, it's impossible to teach a cat not to scratch on anything. The claws of cats grow in layers and must be shortened and sharpened. By scratching on hard, rough surfaces, preferably tree bark, cats shed the old outer layer of their claws, ...


32

I've heard pet owners express concern before that cats get frustrated at being unable to catch prey, but the thing is, they should be able to deal with the frustration because it's natural to be unable to catch prey a large percentage of the time. In the wild, all predators often fail to catch prey, sometimes more often than they succeed. There are also any ...


31

This is a common behaviour. There are a few different ideas as to why cats seem to like shoes in particular as stash locations. They are small spaces that seem hidden, which cats like - they want to hunt things and then hide them for later, and the shoes seem like a good sneaky way to hide them away from the other people in the house (or other animals), as ...


28

Cats do remember places and people, although where/who they remember, and for how long, is variable (just like humans). There's been some research on feline short-term memory, but I could find less information on long-term memory. This article is rather poorly referenced, but does make some statements about long-term memory that it claims are research-...


25

Odds are, the cat's as wary of you as you are of her. She wants to know if she can trust you. These cautious approaches are very typical, and you're handling it very well. As she starts to get more comfortable with you, she'll stick around longer for more attention. Not chasing after her or holding her in your lap when she wants to go are very good things, ...


25

Humans secrete a fair amount of salt when sweating and many animals, especially cats, are attracted to the taste of that for some reason. Another reason is, actually, scent. Your cat may be trying to apply their scent to you in, well, a fairly obvious spot for them to override. A third reason is grooming. Cats will groom their human companions. This is a ...


24

Try following her. My cat will sometimes meow incessantly until I get up and follow her to a dirty litter box, empty water bowl, or a closed door.


24

We have a few existing posts about how much space a cat needs, I have included some below. Your area is large enough for a cat. But even a larger space will not be sufficient without enough enrichment, so having toys, and things to climb on will make a big difference. Each cat is going to have a unique personality. So you need to consider the cats ...


23

Have you seen your cat doing this? Cats don't usually use water to wash themselves - they'll use their own tongues, even when it's something really gross like litter. (I have seen cats washing actual feces off themselves with their teeth/tongues.) If you haven't actually witnessed this "washing" behavior, it's more likely that your cat is dipping her paw ...


23

You need to break the existing conditioning your cat has at the moment. The classic approach would be to close the door and immediately open it again. Then slowly increase the time that the cat will accept the closed door. Make sure you always open the door before he starts to fuss and complain and by all means before he freaks out - or you’ll likely start ...


20

I've been very close to a situation very similar to this, where a person spiralled really (=very physically abusively) badly with a new pet, came to their senses and felt horrified after a few months, and spent years doing all they could to put it right and undo it. So first thing to say is, I believe you, when you say how bad it was, and that you want to ...


20

You have a cat, you both are going to be working more and you have an allergic roommate? I'm sorry, but are you sure it's a good idea to get a second cat? I understand it looks like choosing between two evils here, but I'd ask you to reconsider. I'd definitely wait till the move is complete. Moving is already stressful for a cat, I doubt it will be easier ...


20

Our cat was not thrilled to go into the box either (it was less severe than you, though). As soon as she felt that something was wrong she would run for her life under the bed and good luck getting her out of there. We did two things: we broke the routine of closing her somewhere and sneaking in with the box we put the box right in the middle of the living ...


20

Loss of a pet, for some people can be no different than losing a family member. The effect may be more intensely felt by children and teenagers compared to adults. Therefore, grieving after a pet is no different than grieving after losing a family member. Anything you can find online about grieving your parents or your children is relevant. As a disclaimer, ...


19

The cat is still young and learning. You want to unteach it that moving and making sounds are potentially dangerous by encouraging the behaviours you want. Ideally there's a type of food it likes, like a cat treat or catnip, that you can use to reward the previously-punished behaviour. Spend a lot of time being as non-threatening around it as you can, re-...


17

It’s a difficult question; neither choice is clearly right or wrong. I would lean toward getting him a friend now, and the same age or younger. The smaller the newcomer, the less your existing cat will see it as a threat in his territory. I assume your cat is already fixed, but if not, I’d do that first. Having a small space is a challenge, but remember that ...


14

It's just their play/hunt instinct kicking in. The piece of food might have dropped outside the bowl, cat uses a paw to get it free (to take it), then notices "omgosh! it's moving!" and starts to "hunt" the food. Nothing abnormal here and I wouldn't expect this to be just due to the cat being bored. Especially if the other cat sees the hunt, it will join in,...


13

I think this might be a hard one to solve without seeing the behavior and interaction. However there are a few things you might be able to do to try to narrow down the cause and help him work through it. Does the dog eventually warm up to you when you have been home a while? Here are some things to try: When you first come in do not acknowledge the dog. ...


13

Unfortunately, from OP's description of his/her behaviors toward the kitten even AFTER the awareness and realization of the wrongness and abusiveness of her/his treatment toward the kitten, i.e., continuing the abuse, it may well be that the OP has a psychiatric condition which results in uncontrollable outbursts of rage, aggressive and even explosive, ...


13

I wouldn't recommend it. The advice on how much space you need per cat is pretty variable, from one bedroom per cat to various square footage per cat. And even then, you might have trouble with getting some cats to share space no matter how big it is. However, one bedroom and bathroom sounds very small to me, especially when you consider that the advice on ...


12

This is an interesting question. Personally based on the information I've seen, I don't believe a dog has the cognitive ability to decide that death is better than their life. They probably can't even comprehend what "death" is. The idea of committing suicide is a very advanced thing to think about. I'm sure we've all heard the classic idea of "self-...


12

Completely normal - not harmful. Flying fast moving things make great toys and often good snacks. One my cats goes crazy over flying insects often bordering on self-destructive tendencies (thinking she can also fly over my kitchen to catch it). There may be some oddball moth(s) out there that aren't good for cats to eat but I wouldn't be too worried about ...


12

Cats always return "voluntarily". Dogs return home (or, more usually stay home), because they want to belong to a pack and they stay with their pack (e.g. owners, potentially other dogs and pets, etc.). Cats, on the other hand, are typically just attached to convenience. Got some good food there? Someone to ruffle their fur? Feeling safe? The cat will ...


12

We have four cats that all have different personalities (like people). Sometimes one or more can be frustrating, but cats (although some would argue) are not capable of the same level of learning or action-response as humans. Cats do not need us like dogs do, and once you understand that you will understand how a cat may or may not react like you want to ...


12

I don't know enough about cats to give an answer to how and if the relationship between the cat and husband can be repaired. But one thing got me to react: Every time he gives her a bath now her head swells. Something is medically wrong with the cat. Take her to a vet and get her checked out.


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