After 4 years of renting, my fiance and I finally bought our own house, yay!

All the while we've been renting I've been dying for pet, so now that I can have one I'm over the moon. The trouble is my fiance doesn't see the point of having a cat. He sees them as a poor excuse for a dog, and incapable of love.

My fiance was never allowed pets growing up so he doesn't understand the point of having them. I'm not sure how explain to him why I want one. I grew up with pets and the house just doesn't feel like a home to me without a furry friend.

He also says he hates cats, but every time the neighbor's cat comes to say hello, or we see a random cat while we're out and about, he gets super excited and loves to pet them. He obviously likes them, even though for some strange reason he wont admit to it.

Has anyone dealt with this before?

  • I'm not entirely sure what your question is - How to explain why you want a cat, or How to convince your fiancé to get a cat or something else? Can you please edit your post to include an objective question? General polls such as "anyone have any experience with X" are not usually good StackExchange questions. This isn't a typical discussion site, but focused on questions and answer.
    – Zaralynda
    Jun 16 '15 at 18:58
  • There is No easy way to change someone's mind on this. You could try getting him to open up about what it is about having a cat that would bother him and see if there are counter-arguments -- my mother took years to get over a terror that the cat would die "on her watch" and that she wouldn't be able to handle it, for example. But it may simply not be something accessible to reason, or even to expert counselling (and you know the line about first needing to want to change, right?) In the end this may simply be one of those "for better or worse" things where you must give in or get out.
    – keshlam
    Jun 16 '15 at 19:15
  • Does he not see the point, or is he dead-set against having a cat in the house? The former can be answered with "fine, but we each have our own interests and hobbies and friend in addition to those we share, and I want a cat. You don't have to have anything to do with it if you don't want to." The latter is a more serious problem. Either way, you need to talk this thru with him and reach an agreement.
    – keshlam
    Jun 17 '15 at 15:47

My mother was the same way. She'd always said she'd kill a cat if one came in the yard, but we had wild barn cat when I was little and she never did anything with them and when my lab brought home a kitten from somewhere, he moved in and she's all about him, though she still likes to talk mean about him, she's always checking on him and making sure he's got what he needs.

From what you've said, your fiancé is the same way. I think he'd like one, once he got one. One option you have is to foster. You'll want to pick one that is real laid back and doesn't have any behavioral issues, like spraying or clawing. You don't want to try to sell him on the idea of a cat with a misbehaved one. This would let him see what it's like to have one without the commitment.

You'll also have to decide what you're willing to live with and compromise on in your relationship. You've already made a big commitment to be together by buying a house, but having had animals all my life I understand where you are coming from and not having animals around would be a deal breaker for me. You can't count on him to change and you'll have to decided whether it means enough for you to push the issue and what you'll do if he still says no. When it comes down to it, you're equal in the relationship an your "Yes, kitten" is equally as valid as his "No, kitten".

However, I don't think it'll really come down to that. Tell him if he wants a "real pet" he can get a dog, but I have both and the cat frequently abuses and beats the "real pets". He also loves to snuggle, is okay with doing his on thing when you don't want to, is low maintenance, and goes out to use the bathroom, so there isn't even a litter box to clean. I think he'll get attached fairly quickly. Good luck, meow.

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