I have a confident, intelligent cat. 80% of the time, they're willing to do their own thing, the other 20%, they're rubbing their face in my neck or cuddling close. This cat was raised with a pittie previously, so my previous bf and I encouraged a ton of confidence in her from an early age, and she had no problem biting and playing with the dog.

I'm in a new relationship, and my cat has been my "only kid" for 3 years. Recently, I started seeing someone new, and while she's friendly to him most of the time, if we get intimate, she attacks unless she's been run around and tired out. Even if we don't, after he leaves, the cat will try to smother me, rub her neck into mine, sleep on top of me, etc. I think this is normal possessive behavior but wanted to check, is this a problem?

1 Answer 1


The sense of smell plays a much bigger role in cats' lives than our human ones. Each one of you - your cat, your BF and you - have her own personal scent. Your cat knows you by your scent and has probably left her scent on you by rubbing her head on you.

And suddenly there's a stranger in her territory and you smell of this stranger a while later. What she's doing by rubbing on you and laying on top of you is claiming you back by replacing his scent with her own.

I assume she will calm down once your BF has been around more times and she gets used to him. But as with all cats, she has her own personality and likes and dislikes and there's never a guarantee that she'll get less possessive. I suggest your BF should spend time with her petting or playing with her or feeding her treats, just to associate him with positive experiences.

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.