My cat is an eleven-year-old rescue. I found him as a tiny, starving kitten. I've moved many times with him, including between continents. The older he gets, the more affectionate he gets, which I understand is the way it usually goes.

I have a friend with many pets who says I spoil my cat way too much. But he's extremely skittish and moody. He's afraid of the slightest noise. He runs away and hides when I get up in response to his pleas for some playtime.

So when he's lying down on top of me when I'm in bed, I don't want to move. I don't want to do anything to even suggest that his being on top of me is a bad thing. If I grab my laptop and start watching something so that he can stay longer, then, of course, he leaves. He does not like the noise.

But right now he's lying down on me and I'm just waiting for him to want to get up. Is my friend right? Am I spoiling him? It's just that he only comes when he feels like it and I'm never sure when it will happen again. (It's about once a day or so, but I don't even know when.)

I can play sounds on my phone that he doesn't like to get him to go away for a reason that seems independent from me. But I don't want to scare him either. (The beep of a smoke alarm in need of batteries works instantly.)

If I just push him away and get up, will he consider that I don't like him lying down on me?

  • 1
    Ah, the greatest problem of any pet owner "Can't move, cat/dog/lizard is on me"
    – Journeyman Geek
    Sep 17, 2023 at 1:08
  • 2
    if you are pushing the cat away he knows you dont want him there,but if you put him down on the floor gently he will come back to you later. Sep 17, 2023 at 5:45
  • 1
    "he runs away and hides when I get up in response to his pleas for some playtime", maybe he wants to play hide and seek?
    – Berend
    Sep 17, 2023 at 19:53
  • 1
    Anyway, don't worry too much, just get up when you need to. As long as you don't make a habit out of getting up as soon as he lies down on you, he won't associate that with anything bad, I guess
    – Berend
    Sep 18, 2023 at 14:52
  • 1
    Just lift him off gently.
    – Lambie
    Sep 18, 2023 at 23:23


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