I adopted my very first cat a little over 2 years now. The first year and 6 months he was the best pet and friend I could ever ask for, he slept with me all day and night, he played with me, when I talk to him it's like he understands me and knows that I needed to feel better, he's my best little friend.Then my boyfriend and I planned to move, so we brought my cat to his grandmother house long story short he ended up being there for 7 months. I'm here at grandma's house with him almost a month and I know I shouldn't feel this way but I feel like shit. He doesn't sleep with me or cuddle with me at all, when I try to play with him or hug him he runs away, I've been crying I really feel like he doesn't love me anymore, I didn't want to leave him for so long. Please help me get his love back.


1 Answer 1


Cats are usually creatures of habit.

You re-homed your cat for seven months without you. The cat was forced to change his habits as a result. It's honestly I think normal for him to not change his habits again just because you have moved into this new space. This doesn't mean that the cat no longer loves you.

When I went to college, I left my cats behind for the majority of four years. One of my cats was particularly attached to me when I left, and loved cuddling with me and following me around the house. After college, she no longer was so attached. But I could tell she still definitely loved me, because with strangers she would run and hide, but even after four years she was still friendly with me.

Be careful not to overwhelm him.

You're obviously feeling a little desperate right now because you miss cuddling with him so much. Don't let your feelings get the better of you, so that you end up forcing yourself on the cat. Instead, use treats or play to try to entice him to come to you. Do not do things that restrain him, such as hugging or picking him up. If he walks away, allow him to go so that he never feels forced into fleeing. Any time the cat flees from you because he doesn't want to be handled is self-defeating. But if you're persistent and patient with giving him positive interactions on his terms, perhaps he will decide to start cuddling with you again.

Try to change your mindset.

Rather than focusing on your desire for the cat to cuddle, focus instead on how because you love him, you want him to be happy whether or not he cuddles with you. Look for those little signs he is happy. For example, is the cat relaxed around you, does he slowly blink at you, or does he hold his tail up straight, or with a little hook at the end? Take them as signs that even if he isn't cuddling you, the cat is happy being with you.

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