I just adopted a kitten not long ago, been around cats my whole life, this is the first cat I've actually personally owned but I take care of many and usually have strong bonds with cats.

He's a Siamese only 10 weeks old - I was wary of taking one home so young but was assured by the breeder, she handled him a lot and would constantly pick him up or manhandle him, I'm a little shy/affectionate and would need a cat who matched me as I am rather insecure. I overthink a lot.

At first, I didn't notice too much wrong but after watching him I found he will hiss if you look at him, back up, flinch if you touch him, he's scared of/is mean to my other cats, won't use a litter tray and pees everywhere, hides for hours, won't stop yelling or calling out.

I want to give it a chance, but I've never seen a cat act like he does.

I don't want to take him back to the breeder, but he doesn't seem happy, and I am scared of making things worse/not being the right person for him, I want him to have a good home and my mother wants him gone if he can't learn to pee in the tray soon, what do I do? I feel so guilty...

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    How did you introduce him to the house? How did you introduce him to the other cats?
    – Allison C
    Commented Jul 12, 2022 at 19:40
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    How long have you had him? Some fear is expected for any cat in a new place with new people/pets, especially a kitten who was just separated from its mother.
    – StephenS
    Commented Jul 12, 2022 at 23:18
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    have you given him some elevated safe spots where he can watch you and the other cats?what about the litterbox is it safe for him to do his stuff uninterrupted by the other cats?a safe area for a cat is a place where he or she can avoid suprises from other cats. Commented Jul 13, 2022 at 5:17
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    Please answer the questions! This will help us to help you :) Meanwhile have a look into this question about how to befriend a new kitten and let us know, if it was helpful for you Commented Jul 13, 2022 at 5:41

1 Answer 1


Mom cats usually wean their kittens off by 4-6 weeks. They are reasonably independent by ten weeks. However, you should never immediately let a new cat mingle with your existing ones. Cats are territorial and need to get used to each other and not perceive a threat from each other.

I'd try to solve one problem at a time. First, you must isolate the kitten to a space of its own without any interference or presence from your existing cats. I'd recommend setting up a few toys, fresh water, food, a litter box, and some soft bedding. It howls probably because it is searching for its mom. Go in and spend time with it sparingly through the day, but keep an eye. Also, let other members of the family spend time with it. See how it reacts to them. Some cats are very averse to people touching them. My youngest one is like that. She is now two years old, but we've handled her maybe 4-5 times.

Once the kitten is comfortable with the space, you and your family, then I'd let your other cats come and sniff it through the door. Give them all treats at this time to make it a positive experience, something that they'll look forward to. There are tons of resources here on Pets and the internet on getting different cats acquainted.

Lastly, the kitten doesn't know about your sensitivities and whether you overthink things or not. It is acting in a prescribed biological way. So don't be too hard on yourself. It would help if you gave the situation time to work itself out.

I hope you do not have to give the kitten back and that you and he become best buds over time. Good luck!

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