I’ve adopted two cats recently and one of them was immediately comfortable (Bell) and the other is the complete opposite (Isla). Bell settled right in and doesn’t mind being held or being pet but she’ll let you know when she’s had enough. Isla will run if you stand up, if you walk near her or make a sound from the next room she thinks is too loud. She was separated from her mother too young (something the previous owner was not aware of) and it has caused her to be a lot smaller than the average cat, she’s about the same size as my friends 5 month old kitten. She finally started getting comfortable around me when I was standing after about a month and even let me pick her up once or twice. However, she came over to me when I was standing and stretched with her front paws on my legs and I got a fright and jumped, now she won’t come near me at all. She used to be comfortable enough coming over to me when I was lying down and would sleep on my chest but she’s even avoiding doing that now and I don’t know what to do. Since I’ve adopted her she has peed on my bed a few times when she’s been in heat and then after I frightened her.

Any tips would be welcome!

(She’s getting spayed soon, she just has a check up appointment first to make sure everything’s okay.)

  • Did the cats come as a pair, or are they new to each other as well?
    – StephenS
    Jun 19, 2022 at 1:30
  • How old are they? Did they come from the same source (previous owner, foster/rescue, etc)?
    – Allison C
    Jun 20, 2022 at 14:14

2 Answers 2


You are a stranger 20-ish times her size; it’s pretty natural for her to be afraid of you.

As difficult as it is, the fastest and most reliable way to get a cat to trust you is to be in their space but ignore them. You are probably looking at her, making noises and moving toward her, all of which a cat will consider a threat until they know they can trust you.

Also, some cats are just naturally more social, adaptable and more confident than others. Some only need a few days to adjust to a new territory with new animals (including humans) in it and feel safe, while others may need weeks or months.


Your cat (Isla) may had bad experiences with humans. Also, Some Cats tend to get afraid while they get comfortable, your cat may not be ready yet, To make your cat (Isla) adjust to you, you may need to wait for her to adjust to you before becoming more close to her.

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