So we have a black cat, who is the son of a white female stray cat we used to feed. We call the female cat Kuchi, and her son Gulu (9 months old).

Gulu was born inside our house, he is almost like our pet cat, but the only thing he has extra was the independence of going anywhere inside or outside our home.

He used to stay inside our home.

But recently, he is not really staying close to our home. He stays all day on the alley behind ours, and he only comes during feeding times.

There is no one feeding him in that alley. He just sleeps in the corridor of someone else who doesn't even pet him or feed him.

My family is really sad about it that our cat doesn't stay with us. We took him almost as our new family member and now it seems that he is rejecting us.

I want some advice from experts that how can I make my cat stay in our house and close to us most of the time.

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    Welcome to pets.SE! Where is the mother staying? If I remember right, cat mums will drive their sons away, if they get old enough for mating. This avoids inbreeding and it's negative outcome for inbred kittens (genetic disease). Also it is possible the male kitten searches for a partner. 9 month seems old enough for mating. Commented Apr 22, 2021 at 8:08
  • @Allerleirauh. The mother spends most time close to our house. Commented Apr 22, 2021 at 9:49
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    Is he neutered/castrated? If not, then don't expect to see much of him going forward, he'll be roaming to go find female cats in heat.
    – Allison C
    Commented Apr 22, 2021 at 13:35

1 Answer 1


You have at least two factors working against you:

First, the mother cat is driving away her offspring, that’s natural behavior (as cruel as it seems to humans who have a different perspective on family). If your home and it’s surroundings are “her” territory, he may be permitted to pass through, e.g. to feed, but depending on her personality she may not tolerate him “loitering” otherwise. Remember, she was here first... Feral females tend to get along in female groups, males are much more solitary.

Second - and this meshes with the first point - he is now mature enough to find his own territory, especially if he’s not neutered. In that case his natural sex drive will make him wander around in search of females in heat. He may come back regularly, but it’s common for intact toms to “disappear” occasionally, even for days, or stay away one day.

If you want to keep him as a pet “at home”, your first step should be a trip to the vet to have him neutered. (If not done already.) This will not only prevent future stray cat babies (so the responsible thing to do for all cats that can go outside), but also diminish his roaming drive and reduce his stress level overall.

The second step is to keep him indoors at least for a while. Your home must become “his”, and that is best done if he can’t choose to go outside at will. Note that if you go that route, you will have to keep him busy and happy, so you absolutely must find the time to play with him, challenge him mentally and perhaps even teach him tricks on top of just feeding and petting him. Otherwise it’s not a home, just a prison. You have an energetic youngster at your hands, that’s work.

If your home has become “his home”, you can consider letting him outside again. Hopefully it’s attractive enough to keep him “at home” enough for your liking.

One extra remark: If the mother’s territory is still around your home, you need to pay attention to her behavior - there’s a good chance that she’s “discouraging” him from returning home. You may have to intervene in that case.

  • After keeping eyes on him ,it seems like he is in search of females in heat. I think we should get him neutered. And I guess I have keep eyes on Kuchi. She sometimes starts to attack him and drive him away from home. Thanks for your answer. Commented Apr 23, 2021 at 6:26
  • Thanks for considering having him neutered. It’s the responsible thing to do. My own cat is the result of a roaming feral cat meeting an intact domestic tom wandering around. While I love him dearly and am happy that we have him, his and his siblings’ first time of life was not nice and lethal to some. We broke the cycle without hesitation. The procedure is relatively simple and affordable for male cats.
    – Stephie
    Commented Apr 23, 2021 at 6:54
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    And please consider to also neuter Kuri. Otherwise she’ll probably have a litter twice a year. That’s a lot of kittens and many of them will have a short life if they have to roam the streets.
    – Stephie
    Commented Apr 23, 2021 at 7:02

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