Hello I'm back with very good news and some questions following up on my cats. Last post I made was this right here: I need help rebuilding my cats trust after abusing them multiple times. Where I explained my issue, and asked what I can do to help them. Now things have gotten much better, no relapses, and no anger towards them when they don't feel like being pet, but I have some question that I find are kind of weird.

I feel like they are kind of bipolar lol, they are angels in the morning (I'm going to refer to them as black and white). Black is now a baby, in the morning he follows me around and makes noises for me to scratch his back and throw food for him to chase, he also likes to sun bathe A LOT and as for his purring, he purrs after scratches and when he is sunbathing. White is taking a bit longer (which is perfectly fine and justified), he sneaks away when I go down the stairs, I think its too scary for him, and when he is sitting down in his tree, I can pet him and he purrs instantly which is weird, because black never does that and I feel like white is still scared of me. White also like to keep his distance when I'm standing. The weird thing is that couple of days ago I pet him for a good 10 minutes and he got up and sat in my lap I WAS SHOCKED black did this too but it was shorter, and I was close to crying, what have I done to deserve him do that? But after a while I needed to go so I got up and he sneaked away.

The thing is everything above happens in the Morning 4am-3pm but in the night or afternoon they are both scared of me white more than black maybe one of you can explain this to me since I don't know why this is so.

As for the rest of my family, they are great with my brother is their favorite, they sleep on his bed and headbutt him, they sit in the same room as my parents when they are working. So socially i think they are fine, its just me (which again is fine and justifiable).

So yeah life is good, I hope C.Koca, Elmy and chasly see this post , thank you guys for your tips they have helped a ton mentally, and in practice.

Is it normal for them to like me in the morning and be scared at night, can I do something about it if so?

  • 1
    I am very glad that you are patching up your relations with your cats. I am even more glad that you, yourself are doing great! Keep up the good work. But what is your question?
    – ck1987pd
    Sep 26, 2020 at 2:15
  • Is it normal for them to like me in the morning and be scared at night, can i do something about it if so.
    – user18776
    Sep 26, 2020 at 2:31

1 Answer 1


Cats have mood swings.

This might be because we don't know enough about cats' personality or because the cats cannot convey us what they want. However, to the best of our knowledge, cats have mood swings.

Cats have very strong routines as well.

Cats love to eat, cuddle, play and sleep at the same hours of each day. Therefore, noticing daily patterns might be due to their internal schedule. In other words, they make time for you but only between 4 AM and 3 PM. In the long run, cats adjust their schedule more fitting to their human companions, so you have to be patient.

They might be spooked by something else.

If they looked scared only when it is dark, I might have suggested that they were spooked by something else in the dark. Contrary to the common knowledge, cats only have better eyesight than humans at night, meaning they still have poor sight. Yet, they avoid you also at dusk when they see the best, meaning it cannot be about the dark. Therefore, I hardly think this is the answer.

I suggest you to leave the cats alone when they seem scared. Unlike dogs, you must build your interactions with your cats on their terms. Therefore, if they want to spend some quality brother time without you, you have to let them be.

You might confuse avoidance with being scared. Cats, when they don't want to socialise, can be very evasive. If you insist, they might act as if they are scared and if you persist, you will get scratched. This may easily account to 90% of the scratchings, humans who don't know when to leave a cat alone.

Considering the time and the improvements in your relations with your cats, I don't think they are holding any grudges anymore. As I wrote in my previous answer, you couldn't have hurt the cats too badly and all pets have forgiving natures.

Still, check if they avoid your parents and your brother as well. Cats tend to have favourite people, for whom they might make room in their schedule, so don't be upset if you find out they have one. Yet, if you are the only one in the household who they avoid during the said time period, they might still be scared of you.

I hope this helps.

  • 1
    how would it be, if the bad experience maybe happens around a special time? Or if the OP may smell/behave (without own notice) in an other way than in rhe morning? (I think about dogs smelling leftover from the workplace of their owners, or behave strange when the owner comes home drunken) I do not want to imply the OP do/did something on purpose! Sep 27, 2020 at 18:43
  • @Allerleirauh This is a very legitimate comment. Cats avoid a place when they don't like the smell but I never thought that they would avoid a person because of his scent. If the cats only avoid OP but not other family numbers, it might also be because of the scent.
    – ck1987pd
    Sep 27, 2020 at 18:55

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