My boyfriend is an alcoholic and has done some horrible things when he's got hammered. It had affected the whole family and been a very toxic abusive time for the last three years. My cat is terrified of him because of it.

My boyfriend has gone to rehab now and he's changed. He's been in AA has a sponsor gone back to school and has gotten his life together realizing what life is like without a bottle. I'm proud of him but scared for when he comes home. My cat has been comfortable and back to the old him and his element since he's been gone. My cat plays, lays with me, and acts like he did before my boyfriend even came into my life. I don't want him hiding under the bed or in the closet when he walks through the door.

How can I get them to just like each other and let the past be the past? Because this side of my cat I'm so happy is back, but I'm also so proud to see this side of my boyfriend. I want the peace in my house and no arguing.

  • 4
    To be perfectly honest, I don't think your boyfriend should live with animals. I mean, good for him that he's actively working to fix his problems, but since he has a history of terrifying animals while drunk, I wouldn't risk my pets to be left alone with such a person.
    – Kai
    Feb 12, 2020 at 17:46
  • @Kai I have seen a lots of people who struggled with relationship to other humans but could manage very good relationships with animals. Animals could forget old harm better than humans most time. They are not resentful and the changed person could get positive feedback more direct than with other humans. Feb 17, 2020 at 16:56

1 Answer 1


How can I recover my cat and boyfriends relationship

You can't, only the boyfriend and the cat can work this out.

If your boyfriend wants to fix it he should read this related post How can I fix my relationship with my 7 month old cat after I've constantly abused her the past month?

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