I don't neuter my cats. There were 6 of them: dad, mom, 4 kittens, 3 tomcat kittens and 1 tammy kitten. I neutered the tammy one.

The mom gone one day when I was about to abort her babies, the dad followed.

One of the kittens seems to be the strongest and my house is like "his area". At first, the tomcats were playing with each other like brothers should do, then, the strongest kitten fought dad and fought his brothers.

One day, daddy was gone too. I have no idea why. Then, another kitten (now one year old) was gone too. There were 2 tomcat kittens (now cats I suppose), and 1 tammy kitten.

The tammy cat stays in the house most of the time and the only one that can climb windows to get in and get out of my house. I have built a bridge, then one day the weaker cat was missing for days. Sometimes it comes back and grabs some food and then is gone again. I have no idea why does it happen.

One day it came for food, I caught him, gave him his favorite wet food and put him in my room like the way we used to. He just wants to get out.

He is like avoiding me. I followed him quite far and he just keeps avoiding me. And then I tried to lock him out in my house again, but he somehow managed to escape.

Then he's gone again. Why?

I know the weaker tomcat loses fights against his own brother. But the other cats are around my area and do just fine. They get along just fine. It's as if the weaker tomcat had another territory and just came back for food

Why is my tomcat leaving me?

1 Answer 1


Because that is the natural behavior of cats. A cat family will not live together after the kittens grow up.

The reason is that every cat wants to have their own territory, especially the male cats. A tomcat will allow a female in his territory (he wants to make his own kittens), but not another tomcat, because he could steal his lady.

A mother will chase her daughters away after they grow up, because if they stay, the father might make kittens with his own daughter. This is incest and can lead to mutations and disabilities. So evolution made cats chase away their offspring when they become mature.

You can have a male and a female live together, or neutered cats. If you want more cats to live together, they have to be from different families (and should be neutered). Lions are the only cats in the world that live together in their family. And even with lions only the females stay in the family, the males are chased away. All other kinds of cats leave their family when they become adult. They can smell who is part of their family and who is not and chase away family members. It's the natural way of cats and the only thing you can do against that is neutering them. But now they don't like each other it may be too late for that.

Locking a cat in your house is not a good idea. The cat smells his brother and knows exactly that he is in his brothers territory. He is afraid of a fight and cannot enjoy your company because he only wants to get away.

  • but the cat are friendlier to another tomcat. He is mean only to his bro
    – user4951
    Commented Aug 6, 2018 at 20:27
  • 3
    The only thing you can try is neuter the tomcats, but there is no guarantee it will work. House cats are not social animals. It's normal that the family breaks apart when the kittens become adults at 9 months old.
    – Elmy
    Commented Aug 7, 2018 at 4:04
  • I don't kick my own bro out of the house? If anything he's a reliable partner when we hunt for mates. Why cats are different?
    – user4951
    Commented Aug 8, 2018 at 7:00
  • 6
    You are human. Humans are social and live together in families. Cats are not humans and don't think like humans. They are only social as long as the kittens are young (less than 9 months old). When kittens grow up, they want to live alone and either leave the family or chase away their brothers and even their parents. It is the way cats are, they are not bad for it and you cannot do anything against it. Sorry
    – Elmy
    Commented Aug 8, 2018 at 7:05

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.