There was a time when we did not have any trouble with our dogs. We had a very responsible alpha male dog. One snarl would have ended any fights before they started. He had a friend, a gay dog. We found out he is gay because he loves to get humped on, and does not hump on a female dog.

The gay dog and the alpha male were both old buddies, so it's no question the gay dog thought she was female, and the alpha male humped him. Even though we adopted 2 strays, 1 male and female. The alpha male and the gay dog were in control, there were no fights whatsoever even when food was concerned. And even though the female dog became mature, there were no fights still. No one mated the female, not even the alpha male.

Last month the alpha male died of sickness. The gay dog went to a serious depression, and we did too, because the alpha male was the best dog that we ever had, but we have to move on. We showed the dogs that we can make it through even without the alpha male, so we went on every day normally. Now we did own a stray male dog, didn't we? Right now it's like he stated himself as the alpha male and then all hell broke loose.

That dog and the female became partners, starting last month, they hate baths when there was a time they didn't mind them at all. We watched Ceasar Millan's videos on how to approach them, because we thought they became like that because of our action, maybe we are hurting them physically during bath time, so we tried to use gloves with soft cotton, but we just received snarls and even bites.

That's not all, during the time when the female was in heat, that alpha male dog becomes a hell hound. He bites the gay dog so hard, he even goes to the jugular vein. We use chokers to detach them, but when we all leave the house, we always return with the gay dog bruised. If you want to know what did the gay dog do to deserve such punishment from the hell hound? Absolutely nothing, the gay dog just sits there, then the attacks happen, there was even a time when the gay dog was just sleeping, then he was attacked!

Caging the hell hound is dangerous because there was a time that my mother tried to cage him and the dog bite my mother's hand, almost detaching the finger. She had to have stitches and operations to get the finger attached.

If you will think we are hurting the dogs during caging, we do not. Our procedure to put them in the cage is simple, open the cage, call their names and they should go inside the cage, we don't force them to go inside the cage.

So, right the family is deciding what to do with this dog, we are a family of 6, 2 of us agreed to kill the dog (Mom and I), 4 of them says no. But the dangerous dog keeps on rampaging the gay dog and us every day, so how do we deal with such dog? Are we right to think that we should put it down for the good of everyone?

What we did:

  1. Normal discipline - back then, when they snarl we say no. It somehow stops them, but now, even loud noises cannot stop the dog from snarling.

  2. Throwing cold water during the fights - I think we saw something alike to detach two dogs that are fighting, and discipline a dog, a bucket of water can be used so that we may not harm them physically, but that does not work, chokers do the job.

  3. No physical harm is done to the dogs (yet) - because we know it is illegal, but if something ever happens to my mother again, that's another story.

  • 2
    Have you talked about this with a vet? If yes, what was their opinion? Seeing as nobody has dared to answer this question in 6 hours and from the moment that a dog attacks and physically harms (detached finger) its owners, the course of action is obvious.
    – Xander
    Jun 19, 2018 at 6:56
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    Is there any reason you haven't considered neutering one or more of the dogs?
    – brhans
    Jun 19, 2018 at 13:29
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    Neutering does seem like a strong option, at least to discuss with a vet in detail. I've read that neutering won't necessarily make any given dog less aggressive just on its own, but if an aggressive dog only has problems when a nearby female is in heat, it's probably worth considering as a remedy to the source of the problem.
    – Random
    Jun 19, 2018 at 17:42
  • We cant get the dogs out of of house. I think the only way to do it is to tie their toes and drag them.
    – Mr.J
    Jun 20, 2018 at 0:07
  • The dogs don't leave the house?
    – paparazzo
    Jun 22, 2018 at 11:49

1 Answer 1


I would strongly advice to search for professional help. Reading through your text displayed a multitude of red flags and showing a lack of proper understanding for your dog's behavior.

For example, assuming your dog is "gay" because he humps other dogs is such a "red flag" because it shows your misconception of your dog's behavior. It's because dogs don't function as we humans do in terms of sexual orientation. Humping other dogs is more likely a dominant behavior or a sign for a lack of socialization with other dogs. It's nearly impossible that you ended up having a "gay" dog.

Secondly, keeping multiple male dogs and a female dog unneutered together in one place is certainly a recipe for disaster.

Thirdly, letting your dogs fight over the hierarchy in your home shows me that you couldn't establish yourself/or someone in your family as a pack leader, leaving the position to be taken by one of your dogs, who are now fighting over it.

Last but not least, reading in the comments, that your dogs don't leave the house is quite shocking to hear and hard to believe.

So all together, you have sexually frustrated dogs, who are assumably badly socialized, who are lacking leadership and are stressed over being pushed into that role against their will, on top of being most likely unbalanced due to missing exercise and undrained energy.

My advice for you:

  1. First and foremost, walk your dogs, drain their energy, physically and mentally. Dogs always follow their pack leader without hesitation, without being asked to leave or anything. If they don't leave the house when you do, you're probably already perceived to be on the lowest end of their hierarchy, which is an unacceptable situation, that might get dangerous for everyone in your house in the long run.
  2. Neuter your dogs, immediately. In your described situation there is no valid argument against it.
  3. Establish yourself as pack leader, don't allow the dogs to be aggressively dominant and fight over the hierarchy.
  4. Get professional help to get a grip on how to interact with your dogs and fill your role as pack leader.
  5. Don't put your dog down as an easy exit, just because they ill behave over the unbearable situation you've put them in. Show some dedication to fix it and get a balanced pack through exercise, leadership and compassion; they deserve it.
  • 1) He is the one getting humped at, by the girl and guy dog. 2) when the alpha was still alive, none of this is happening. 3)I do believe you have a point there that we have not established as the alphas, 4) Believe it, why will I make stories of my pets? this is not world building SE. But I think the most proper way to say it, they wont go outside with a leash. They prefer "escaping" which is pretty dangerous if you ask me.
    – Mr.J
    Jun 26, 2018 at 0:09
  • drjensdogblog.com/… I agree with seeking professional help, in particular a behavior evaluation. I am however quite concerned the dog had seriously injured someone already. As long as you have it, minimize whatever sets it off. In this case, since it's getting aggressive around the other dogs, separate them somehow.
    – Kai
    Jun 26, 2018 at 0:48
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    @Mr.J As Marcello said 1) Its a sign of dominance not sexual activity or being 'gay' 2) The vacant pack leader role is now, in the dogs eyes, up for grabs so they are fighting and showing dominance to get it. 3) You/family need to be the established pack leader. They wont go out on a leash because this appears like hasn't been properly instilled behaviour or trained and the fact they prefer escaping shows their recall training is poor too. Agree 100% With everything Marcello has said.
    – UIO
    Jun 26, 2018 at 9:48
  • @OwenHughes so all three of them where "dominant"? why is it that when they fight? the "gay" dog wins? I have to agree with Kai in this, I do think I need to ask professional help. Thank you also for the input.
    – Mr.J
    Jun 28, 2018 at 0:05
  • @Mr.J Again, the humping is a display of dominance over one another, the fact that they still fight shows there is no pack leader. There is now ‘winner’ there. I agree, you do need to seek out professional help with them, immediately, Marcello is right in everything he says here.
    – UIO
    Jun 28, 2018 at 6:14

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