My cat has troubles at night. She doesn't go to bed easily. Sometimes I carry her to her bed, and she tries to run off. I then pick her up again and bring her back, at which point she tries to run off again. I grab her mid-body and pull her back. She just stops and looks at me really upset. She then starts to scratch her bed before lying down.

I feel really bad about pulling her back. I hope I'm not hurting her. It saddens me when she stops trying to run off and just stares at me or looks down.

Please advise me on the best way to get her into bed without forcing her (she sleeps in a closed room with me).

  • 8
    Why are you trying to force your cat to keep the same hours that you do?
    – Mick
    Commented Dec 14, 2017 at 0:44
  • She tries to sleep downstairs that's when I bring her up however when she is upstairs she refuses to sleep even though I know she is tired as that is the reason why I brought her up
    – Ikra
    Commented Dec 14, 2017 at 8:59
  • 3
    Cats do not like to be confined. My cat will join me for a few hours, but he always makes his excuses, either to sleep in the living room, or to go outside. Does your cat have access to water and a litter tray in your bedroom? Also, cats like to sleep off the floor is possible. Can your cat do that?
    – Mick
    Commented Dec 14, 2017 at 9:04
  • 1
    What you are trying to do can only have negative consequences for your cat. You should not try to change a cat's sleep pattern. Your cat needs some degree of freedom, and to choose when and where it sleeps.
    – Mick
    Commented Dec 14, 2017 at 23:59
  • 1
    Why can't you let "her room[sic] around the house"?
    – SimonT
    Commented Dec 15, 2017 at 7:42

3 Answers 3


Stop trying to force your cat to go to bed.

Cats sleep a lot more than us humans do. According to Wikipedia up to 20 hours a day. And they sleep differently as well in that they are prey animals in the wild and will sleep lightly. And you cannot tell you cat when to sleep. Or where to sleep. They have mind of their own.

Same with food and toilet needs, they do their own thing. They need to do their own thing, as they are not herd animals.

This leads to: let your cat sleep when it wants, not when you want it. And keep in mind that she will need to use the cat litter and would like to drink a bit and eat a little mid night snack as well. So if you want your cat to sleep in the same room as you, make sure she has access to the things she needs: cat litter, water & food.

  • She has her litter box(food,water and playset) in the room, but she doesn't wake up during the night! She will stay asleep until 7-8am and I let her downstairs or outside whatever she feels at that time. I can't have her roaming the house on her own at night and she doesn't like to sleep outside so my only option is to bring her upstairs with me. Most of the time she gets into bed herself after jumping around in the room but there are other night where she isn't sleeping so I have to pick her up and put her bed
    – Ikra
    Commented Dec 14, 2017 at 23:16
  • Also I only bring her to my room when I see she is falling asleep downstairs so I know she's tired.
    – Ikra
    Commented Dec 14, 2017 at 23:20

I second the advice of the answer from Flummox - you can't control when or where a cat sleeps. It is simply not possible.

Why can't you let her roam the house and sleep when and where she wants?

If this is a case of you wanting your cat to sleep with you in your bed, she will do so if she wants to - not because you want her to.

The key to getting a cat to regard you as a large part of his or her life and to spend time with you, come when you call (or most of the time), sleep next to you, etc. is to give the cat a reason to be near you.

If you provide warmth, comfort, pleasant physical contact, and show that you can be trusted, a cat will do all the things most people want them to do.

All of our cats (we have quite a few) sleep on the bed without us. CeeCee usually sleeps under the covers with my wife. Murphy often sleeps on my arm (I sleep on my left side). Jenny often spends part of the night next to me and most of the other cats sleep on the bed, usually quite close to us.

There are always at least two cats between my wife and myself, and sometimes three or four - we have a queen sized bed, but it still gets rather crowded at times.

Most of our cats come when called, most of the time, and some will come to me if I simply motion for them to do so. Murphy will often come to me if I lock eyes with him and raise my eyebrows two or three times - I'm not kidding, that's the sort of close relationship I have with Murphy.

Why do our cats spend time with us, because we provide something that they want, something they need - it really all comes down to TLC.

There should be no reason for you not allowing your cat (what is her name?) to roam the house and sleep wherever she wants, whenever she wants.

You can't force a cat to sleep somewhere, even if you think they are getting sleepy.

It won't happen.

  • I can't let her roam the house. That was my agreement with my parents when I got her throughout the whole day I let her wherever she wants but at night i simple can't. my relationship with Oreo is a strong one if I put my hand out and down she comes to me and I pet her, play with her. she follows me everywhere, I have seen many signs from Oreo that she loves and trusts me as I do.
    – Ikra
    Commented Dec 15, 2017 at 8:58
  • Funny thing is as I'm writing this I opened the door for her to go out but she decided to stay with me in the room and came to my legs so I can pet her so I put her the phone down and done that first as she is more important however at night we struggle sometimes.
    – Ikra
    Commented Dec 15, 2017 at 9:02
  • Not all cats are the same, I show my cat no less love then you must show yours, I don't have this problem everyday it's occasionally and I just wanted to know if there's a better way of me getting her to bed when those days come as I don't have to pick her up and hold her back (again i don't pull her with force) but I know with love and attention I'm doing absolutely great so that is not the problem
    – Ikra
    Commented Dec 15, 2017 at 9:09

There is something you can do: play with your cat before bedtime, and after the play, feed your cat. This will make your cat sleepy and easier to get to bed with you.

This is about using your cat's natural behaviour, hunting / play / eating / food / resting/ sleep. This is what cats normally do in nature.


Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.