We have 3 cats in our household all fixed 2 males and a female. Mr Kittty is the oldest at almost 18 years old and still as active as ever. Then there's Risotto who is essentially a rambunctious 7 year old toddler then 3 years ago we rescued a female siamese mix who was more than likely dumped. It took several months for her to even show herself and now she's essentially my shadow with me every minute of every day. The problem we are having is Mr Kittty constantly terrorizes her. It has gotten to the point he waits until she goes to sleep and goes for her neck while she's sleeping. He has started doing this thing recently where he acts like he's being nice rubs on her then in the blink of an eye his ears go completely flat and he attempts to maul her. We have two giant water feeders and as soon as she starts to drink he goes after her. I have to close him in the laundry room to feed him or he'll attack her and steal her food. I'm not sure if it's because of his age or if he just doesn't like her in the least. When she first started coming out more after we got her he was nice but as time goes on he's more and more mean to her.

For example, a typical day consists of Mr Kittty attacking Derp (the female) me shooing him away, him running off and meowing REALLY loud almost as if he's throwing a tantrum. Then That loud meow signals to Risotto, so Risotto starts instigating as well. It's not uncommon for him to trap her under the bed while we're sleeping and all you hear is that low pitch growl and I see a tail sticking straight out from under the bed then her screaming bloody murder as he tries to get her.

After that long winded rambling I guess my question is what can I do about this? It has me somewhat worried we're going to be out one day and we come home and something has happened.

  • So, how long has he been 'terrorizing' her? The three years she's been in your household or fairly recently? Important detail.
    – M.Mat
    Mar 9, 2017 at 8:18
  • When we first got her he was fine, more skittish than anything. After she started to come out more (a few months) is when he started getting mean by randomly boxing her for no reason or cornering her somewhere and not letting her move. Only recently has he been waiting until she's sleeping and doing the rubby "I'm being nice" thing then going for her face. He actually did it again this morning while she was sleeping on my chest which was a fun alarm clock.
    – David
    Mar 10, 2017 at 21:00
  • Hi I know it’s been years but did this work?
    – Jenny
    Nov 14, 2020 at 1:41

1 Answer 1


So, my guess is Mr. Old Grouch feels threatened. Some of it could be his age; a bit of dementia creeping in. Miss Kitty is threatened as well, obviously with all the "terror."

Not much can be done with the Mr. beyond making certain he's in good health. For your female, I recommend providing her with a "nest," somewhere she can get away from her tormentor.

Cats LOVE high places, particularly where they can observe without being observed. Your best bet, if you're the tiniest bit handy, is to add some shelving covered in remnant carpet or wrapped with sisal rope on a wall she can easily access. Two or three shelves mounted in a progressive step pattern ought to do the trick. This kind of set-up will allow her to get to a safe place easily where she is above him as to fend off any attack. Cost and time involved to make these shelves is minimal. If not handy, there are a number of different cat perch options available commercially. These perches are well-designed and actually, look pretty cool and the cats will love them. If you need additional info, let me know.

cat perch cat perch lotus branch

I've linked an amazing video of a family that modified their home to accommodate their many cats. You absolutely don't need to alter your home like they did but it's fun to watch and may give you some ideas for constructing a safe place for your girl.

Insofar as feeding time, I would create a separate feeding area for Miss. Perhaps on the new shelf? Feed her last and take her to the new feeding spot the first few times. Once you've established "her spot" she will be less tense, feel safer and her change in disposition will trigger fewer confrontations with the other cats.

Your situation is solvable. Don't panic. If you provide a new sense of divided territory for your female, much of this current dynamic will end.

Please check back in if need any suggestions and to let us know how it's going. Good luck!

  • 1
    Thank you for the well detailed answer. I will definitely give this a shot and check back in a week or two. Fingers crossed
    – David
    Mar 11, 2017 at 16:10

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