I am feeding a feral cat and get two kittens for over a month now.

The cat is scared of every member of my family and she runs away as soon as anyone approaches. I am the only one that feeds her and provides her with water and stays out late watching her and the kitties play.

The problem is, even though I'm the only that the cat approaches, she only stops opening her mouth and screaming at me when I stop.

To be honest I'm scared that she'll bite me, I'm new to all this cats thing (I've never had a pet before).

Why does she only do that with me when I'm the only one that feeds her?

  • 3
    I don't understand the question. I assume "money" is a typo. I don't understand your third paragraph at all; im not sure what you are stopping or why you think she is screaming at you rather than just talking to you. I'm not sure why you think she might bite or what you are doing at the time. I would recommend that you get a friend who knows more about cats to watch tge two if you together and play translator.
    – keshlam
    Aug 24, 2016 at 22:15

3 Answers 3


I think that the cat has learned that you are a reliable source of food, and so she does not run away from you (as she does with everyone else in your family). However, she does not completely trust you and the fact that she has kittens probably makes her trust you even less. So the hissing is a warning for you to keep your distance. This might diminish over time as she learns to trust you more, but some cats are truly wild and may never let you get close enough to pet her. My advice is to be patient. You could also try tossing some pieces of food in her direction (but not directly at her) as you approach and see if you can get closer over time.

  • What you say is probably true. As something I throw food close to me an she doesn't hesitate for a little but she comes close and eat (sometimes just take it and run away) thank you for your advice
    – user7893
    Aug 25, 2016 at 16:43

Having taken in a feral cat I understand what you mean. They can be defensive, and I assume what you mean by screaming is hissing. I agree that the best thing to do would be to get help from a person who knows more about cats. You don't know what the cats been through like trauma or worse. So I wouldn't get to close to it until you get a second opinion.

  • What you said is true butwhat I mean is, when other members of the family get close to it, it runs away, but when I go close, it just moved forward and starts "Hissing" I just can't understand why for I'm the only one feeding them.
    – user7893
    Aug 25, 2016 at 12:24
  • Plus, I'm from Iraq we don't have much people who knows about pets (people here don't really have pets) and our vets are only good with cows :-D
    – user7893
    Aug 25, 2016 at 12:28
  • Does the cat flatten his/her ears?
    – user7898
    Aug 25, 2016 at 12:31
  • I'm not sure. I'll chick once I'm home. And I have to add, our kids are not so nice to it (we are a big family) thank you for caring :-)
    – user7893
    Aug 25, 2016 at 12:33
  • 1
    But I would still be careful. If you plan to approach him take it slow. Let him sniff your hand and let him get to know you. Relationships with cats can take time.
    – user7898
    Aug 26, 2016 at 7:38

You could try ‘slow blinking’ (which is closing your eyes for several seconds, say 4 or 5 seconds or even longer, then opening them again for say one or 2 or 3 seconds and then closing them again, and so on. Just make sure your eyes are closed for longer than they are open each time.) All felines sleep a lot - which makes them vulnerable to being attacked and also they tend to avoid other cats, unless they think the other cats are a part of their group or family - and so slow blinking at any cat (or human or other animal) is their way of saying, “I trust you and you trust me enough that we can go to sleep without having to worry that one of us will attack the other.” Maybe it has something to do with ‘mirror neurons’ - I’m not sure, but such neurons do apparently have something to do with mirroring back/empathising with? what others do - but I know it works. My adopted cat was returned to the RSPCA by his two previous adopters as he was too aggressive. And although he has very occasional regressions, 99% of the time now he is beautifully behaved and very relaxed and happy with me. I have had him for 3 yrs now. One of the techniques I use with him (as a daily routine thing, as well as if he is having a regressive episode, which he sometimes does) is the ‘slow blinking’ technique of building trust and fostering relaxation. He will start to slow blink back. (If the cat you are trying to help, doesn’t respond at first, just persist.) It seems to have a fairly immediate hypnotic effect on my cat now ... but also it has an accumulative effect over time of just making him calmer overall. (I also combine it, as soon as he starts to slow blink back at me, with something in a gentle tone of voice and repeating it a few times, which also seems to add to the relaxing effect, eg ‘’sleepy cat, good cat, sleepy cat, good cat ...”) Hope it helps. Also, I don’t think the way the cat hisses at you, but not your family, is a bad sign. On the contrary, the cat WANTS TO be friends with you (as shown by her coming forward) But is just afraid to do so (as shown by her hissing.) The two opposing reactions just means she is conflicted and trying to decide. With the other people she is not trying to make up her mind; she already knows it is best to flee from them!

(But still it would be good if you could encourage even one of the other members to also make friends with the cat ... but only after you already have, I think. For example, after you get the ‘slow blink’ communication going with the cat, you could ask a child to come and sit and slow blink at the cat too. Do it in a way that helps them to be fascinated by ‘the complexity of life and relationships’ for example and how that extends to how animals relate too. Help them to marvel at some aspect of life’s complexity, rather than it be something they want to control, or are, themselves, afraid of. But make sure it is someone who YOU trust will not get the cat’s trust and betray it for some reason. If that is likely to happen, just befriend the cat yourself. Otherwise, if you introduce her to someone else and then something bad happens while that person is with you and the cat, the cat might end up up not fully trusting you either.)

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