I'm asking this question about my sisters cat. I'm 17 and she's 14 and we have two sister cats from the same litter, they're both just over a year old. Her cat is black and we should have named her shadow as she barely interacts with any of us during the day. She's very shy and runs away if any of us try to stroke her or cuddle her. However, at night time she jumps onto my sisters bed and is very affectionate, giving kisses and headbumps - she's the same every night with her. But she only does this to my sister. When my sister and mum leave the house in the morning for school and work she cries constantly for her and when I try to pet her she runs away. But when my sister comes back in the afternoon 'shadow' continues her shy behaviour.

Why does she do this? We're all so confused!

  • I'd advise giving the cat some space as well as it looks like you are forcing yourself on her.
    – D. Tunus
    Commented Jul 6, 2016 at 18:53

2 Answers 2


Some cats are just naturally very timid and may never come around to other people. One of the veterinarians I work with has a cat like this however the cat never wants to cuddle and hides until she (the doctor) sleeps.

You can always try the diffuser feliway, this can help with anxiety.


What kind (breed) of cats are they?

Some breeds are known to pick a "favorite human" and bond with them, while being much more distanced to other members of the family. Our Bengal cat (they are such a breed) is very affectionate to me, with headbumps, eye blinking and falling asleep in my lap, while almost never showing the same behaviour towards my wife - she can stroke her and play with her, but I've seen her sitting on her lap maybe once.

The same cat also runs away to hide when we have visitors, despite not being frightened or shy with us at all (on the contrary, she's quite the talker!).

So a lot of this behaviour can just be that cats character. It could also be that she was hurt, maybe unintentionally. What is strange is the day/night behaviour change. About that I would definitely ask a vet or breeder at the nearest opportunity.

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