We adopted two cats, a boy and a girl. Their age is something between 1 to 1.5 years, I'm not sure, the shelter is not sure as well.

It's now near a week that they're here at the house. In the beginning the girl, who looks a bit older, was fine and discovered the house really quickly, while the boy was always under the bed in a dark space sitting and just getting out only for peeing and eating and returning under the bed again. From the first moment it was obvious that the girl doesn't like the boy. Whenever he passes near to her she makes sounds for a fight, and the boy runs away to his dark house. She was like 'This is my territory' cat, and the boy is like 'Would you please let me play?' cat, he's badly scared of her, which is sad.

Now after few days it's a bit different. The girl is getting sad while the boy is getting happier. The girl was really open to being petted by me while the boy always ran away from me, but now they're both runnig away from me. They can't play with each other, and when the boy is playing, she gets mad at him, he gets scared and hide under the bed.

I know it's a week they're here but I'm not sure what's wrong with them and what is the solution.

  • I can tell you that, based on my own experience, they may never like each other. I saw some level of hostility for years. At the same time, I heard that when one passed away, the other seemed to look for her. We always got one cat first and then a kitten later, better I think to get them at the same time. But cats vary in their behavior and I could imagine exceptions.
    – releseabe
    Apr 6, 2022 at 22:17

3 Answers 3


You should be patient. They spent a lot of time in shelter, everything is new for them in your house: smells, food, sounds, you. In shelter they don't usually get much love coz there are too many animals in there. Buy them toys, talk to them (I am serious), touch them, show them your love, they need to be assured, they are safe now. Sometimes it's helpful to feed them from your hands. Or you can ask for a vet to give some sedative to calm them down.

A year ago I had a cat which I took from the street. He spent 2 weeks under my bath. He ate at night, didn't want to play and ran away from me, when he saw me. I used to take him away, touched him, talked with him. He liked it and started purring but then ran away again and next day we started everything all over. I spent a month assuring him that I was not going to hurt him. One night he just came to me and slept all night on my pillow :). It was sudden, but so nice!

Now he lives with a new family. First, he behaved in the same way, but now he's the greatest and loved cat :)


It took a month before I saw both of my cats at once, and there were definitely periods when one or the other was being less scared. They spent some of that time grumbling at each other. They're now back to being close friends, cuddling with each other and grooming each other (when not teasing each other, of course).

Seriously, give them time to settle in. Some cats can do that in a week, but many do need more time.


Many pet stores sell pheromone dispensers that you can plug into any outlet, designed to help cats relax and take a chill pill. Or there's always Amazon.

It will still take time and patience, but it might help defuse the situation in the meantime.

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.