OK, let me preface this by saying I have never been a dog person. I think they are cute, and enjoy playing with people's dogs at their homes, but I did not/do not want one. I'm slightly allergic to them, and far too much of a neat freak to have them. That being said, my boyfriend moved in with me about 4 months ago. His female wiener dog (Dachshund) had been staying in the country with his mom and her male wiener dog. When we would visit my boyfriend's mom's house, Lady (his dog) would jump into his lap and stare me down while he pet her. I never paid her much mind, I knew she probably just missed him. She would sit by me and let me pet her too.
All of that changed when we brought her home with us. When my boyfriend asked me if he could bring her home, knowing my aversion to having dogs in my home, I asked 3 questions:
- Is she potty trained? I just installed $6,000 carpet in my house. The previous owners had let their multiple dogs use their carpet as a urinal and the carpet had to go.
- Does she eat underwear or shoes? This was a concern for me because I have some very expensive shoes and I had a puppy when I was younger that would drag out our entire hamper to eat our underwear.
- Is she aggressive towards kids? I have a 6 year old daughter.
His answers were yes - she never uses the restroom in the house, no - she never ate underwear even as a puppy, nor shoes, and no - she's very good with kids.
Here's my problem - it's MY house, but the dog thinks SHE owns it. Within 2 weeks of living here, she ate 4 pairs of my panties, I found them in shreds under my bed. and she peed in my carpet twice - on the floor in my room on my side of the bed only. Now, before the typical "put your underwear in a basket" "pick up your panties" comments rain down - my basket is a tall basket with a lid. She's a mini-doxen. My panties SHOULD have been secure. Next comment I'm sure I'll get, "shut your bedroom door." I do. My boyfriend, however, is bad about leaving it open despite me telling him to shut it so she doesn't eat my panties.
The next issue I keep running into is her possessiveness over my boyfriend, and I've noticed as of lately, it's going into possessiveness over my daughter, his son, my sister, my brother - basically anyone that's over except for me and my mom. A friend of mine with a lot of experience with dogs said that she's staking her "claim." She's trying to "claim" my boyfriend, the kids, basically anyone that will let her. My mom and I are both very dominate female personalities, she's never tried "claiming" either of us. My friend said that her eating my underwear, especially since she's not a puppy and never did it to my boyfriend's ex-wife (who she apparently didn't like either), in addition to her peeing on the carpet on my side of the bed is a way to try to show her claim to my territory and dominance over me. My friend said that I had to show I was dominate over her.
I didn't believe my friend until I noticed that she'd be laying down somewhere, and if she saw me walking in the direction of my boyfriend, whether I was going to him or not, she'd dash by me and jump into the seat next to him or into his lap and stare me down. Previously during this behavior, the boyfriend would laugh and say "aw, she loves me." and I would just shake my head at her and continue what I was doing. After reading about "small dog syndrome" and "claiming", I realized that was the way she was asserting dominance over me and that my friend had been right.
So, now when she does that, whether I'm going to sit by my boyfriend or not, I pick her up, set her in the floor, and take my place beside my boyfriend to show her I'm the dominant female in the house. She then ate a pair of my boyfriend's underwear on 2 separate occasions once I started asserting my dominance in the house. My friend said that she was probably mad at him for letting me "take her spot". She also rolls over and bears her belly to me. My boyfriend said that it's her submitting to me, but I've read that studies show it's also a strategic move to attack and protect itself at the same time. She doesn't do this with anyone else in the house.
Last week, I was trying to put her outside to pee because she had been kenneled all day from us being at work. She jumped up in the chair and stared at me, so I went to pick her up to put her outside. I did NOT pick her up around her belly - but SHE PEED ON ME! I was furious! I put her outside, cleaned up, and called my boyfriend immediately. He laughed and said, "You scared the piss out of her! She's scared of you!" She has no reason to be scared of me. I don't hit her. I feed her, I give her water, I let her outside. But I have rules. I don't let her in the kitchen when I'm cooking unless I call her in. And I don't allow her to sniff around the table at dinner time. Also, if she hasn't had a bath recently or stinks, I don't let her on the furniture. I don't put up with begging when we eat either. And in light of her proclivity for peeing in my room and eating my panties, I have said she's not allowed in bedrooms or bathrooms. She's used to having free-reign. Now, she rolls over when I walk into the room, and pees on herself. It's been happening a lot - and quite frankly, it's driving me crazy. I want to get rid of the dog, but my boyfriend loves her. I have tried playing with her, I give her treats, I pet her/rub her belly/scratch her ears - but nothing works. My boyfriend says "maybe she senses you don't like dogs". Maybe - but I love him, so I'm really trying with her.
I've also been told I should lean over her when she rolls over, not on her, just over her, so that she recognizes me as the dominant female, and that while I do this, to stare her down until she looks away. I did this. It worked - but that's when the rolling over and pissing herself issue started. I know she hates me, honestly, the feeling is mutual after her acting this way, but I'm at my wits' end on what to do about her, so any advice will be helpful. I'm not trying to incite a riot of "you're mean because you don't like dogs." comments - everybody is different, everybody has their preferences, my preference just happens to be a pet-free home. I'm really trying with this dog - she's just always been the alpha female in the house, and I don't play that game. I truly need help with what to do about this. I'm not willing to roll over for her, if you catch my meaning, just to make her easier to get along with.
My friend I mentioned earlier stated that we're having these issues because she has staked a claim on my boyfriend and may consider him "her person or her mate" or something. She said it's common with wiener dogs.
Please, any constructive and helpful advice is needed. I know there's going to be some backlash on this because some people won't read what I'm really trying to get at, but please, help?